35 Thoughts everybody has during early morning yoga
It’s great to start the day with an early morning yoga class. At least, it’s great if you’re a morning person. It might be traumatic having to get up, but we soldier on. Sometimes we might even find a little bit of relaxation in the process. Of course, being based in London, that generally lasts all of seven seconds. But those seven seconds? Amazing. Here are some of the thoughts we’ve definitely had during early morning yoga. Please tell us we’re not the only ones.
- This is too early.
- I hope I don’t fall asleep if we have to lie on the mat.
- If I do, what if I snore?
- I can’t believe people do this every day.
- Man, I wish I looked like that person.
- Do I have to take my socks off?
- Do people seriously do this every day?
- No. I am an empowered, confident person who does not have these thoughts.
- I really do wish I looked like them, though.
- Ooh, they’ve got their own yoga mat. I bet they’re, like, a pro.
- Are they going to play this music the whole way through? This isn’t-
- Oh, actually, this is quite relaxing.
- Oh my god, I can’t even touch my toes.
- Can I Instagram this? People should know I did this.
- I bet that person’s t-shirt never rides up.
- Stop staring at that person’s arse.
- Wait. What was that? I wasn’t listening.
- I don’t have a practise. Should I tell them I don’t have a practise? What’s a practise?
- Wait, my leg’s supposed to go where?
- Don’t fart, don’t fart, don’t fart.
- Don’t giggle, don’t giggle, don’t giggle.
- Man, this is actually pretty hard.
- I am a warrior in my warrior pose and my warrior name is Beyonce Pad Thai. I should probably get my own warrior name and stop stealing Mindy Lahiri’s.
- Why do people need hot yoga when normal yoga makes me sweat this much?
- Am I thinking too much?
- How does everybody just know what this stuff means?
- I wonder if the candles have ever set anything on fire.
- Seriously, don’t fart, don’t fart, don’t fart.
- I wish I’d eaten something before I got here.
- Seriously. Did anyone else just hear my stomach rumbling?
- I should definitely book my yoga retreat when I get home. I wonder if they’ll let me have three months off, or if I should just quit. How much would it cost to get to the Andes?
- Was I always this tall?
- *Mental Facebook status drafting*
- *Mental ‘I’m so relaxed and cultured’ tweet planning*
- I am now officially relaxed. I am calm and centred. Woe betide the first motherfucker who ruins it.
If the group class experience isn’t for you, you can book individual sessions with awesome yoga experts through HowNow. The beauty of that is that you don’t even have to leave the house – just put your mat on the floor next to your bed and roll onto it when it’s time to get going!